A confession, or, "what is the title of the third book?"

I am a librarian. You know this already. I am a children's librarian. This, also, should not come as a surprise. However, what I am about to say may cause a few gasps and jaw-drops from the audience. I...have not...read...any Harry Potter books. It's true. I'm ashamed to say it. I feel as though I have neglected one of the most important duties of my career by skipping over this all-too-popular series.

Now it's not because I am not interested. In fact, I am very interested, especially considering the recent excitement over the fate of our beloved Harry. Plus, I love the movies! It's just a matter of the fact that I've always had other things on my nightstand and I'm not good at reading more than one book at once. I know once I start reading them I won't be able to put them down and starting a series of books, each volume containing around 700 pages, is a little overwhelming to consider.

We received our copies at the library today. They might as well be guarded by heavy artillery, armed guards and trip wires. I joke, but the publisher doesn't joke around. No one is supposed to get a peak at the highly coveted titles until midnight tonight. Internet leaks notwitstanding.

There has also been a certain electricity in the air at the library surrounding this larger than life event. One of my co-workers (one of the collection development librarians) spoke about the Harry Potter craze, "when I hear people say 'this is the biggest book of this year' I can't help but laugh and say 'year?! How about the last 15 years!'" And it's true, no other series or single title can come close to surpassing in widespread popularity of HP.

Everyone is shocked when I tell them I haven't read the series. Then they all say, "you need to listen to them." The books on CDs are read by Jim Dale, who is a phenomenal narrator. I highly recommend him and any of his work.

I swear I'm going to go check out the first one...even though I don't know the title...probably after I finish the book I'm on...and maybe after the next 15 I have checked out. Oh nuts. I'll get to it eventually.

Your Linguistic Profile:

75% General American English 15% Dixie 5% Upper Midwestern 0% Midwestern 0% Yankee

What Kind of American English Do You Speak?

The oatmeal joke = lame

So...here it is. In all its glory.

A bowl of oatmeal walks into a bar and sits down to order. The bartender comes up to the bowl of oatmeal and asks "what would you like today?" The bowl of oatmeal says "I'd like a bowl of oatmeal please." The bartender says, "I'm sorry, we don't serve oatmeal here."

I thought the double meaning of the joke was absolutely hilarious. So weird.

The whole fam damily

Announcing

Please welcome the newest member of my little family. Her name is Lyra. She is a yellow lab, german shepherd mix. She looks a lot like a dingo and if she could flap her ears I swear she could take flight. She's around 45 pounds and is basically full grown (not very huge, which is odd considering the breeds she's mixed with...she must have been the runt). She's about a year old and she is the sweetest, gentlest dog I've ever met. She loves to play but when it's time to sleep, it's time to sleep. She's the best apartment dog on earth. Sammy and Monkey love her. Monkey was quite skeptical for the first few days but he's now understanding Lyra is about as much of a threat as a sweet potato. Sammy loves her and especially loves stalking her tail. She's also met Jeff's dog, Roland, and they quickly became best friends.

She's still figuring out what life is like outside the apartment (she had accidents at Jeff's place last weekend) but I'm sure the more stability and routine she has, the better she'll get. It's clear to me, and the people from whom I adopted her, that she was pretty severely abused as a pup. She was also quite malnourished but she's rapidly puttingon some good weight and seems to feel really good. We'll start some training in the next week, which I know will help with her confidence and trust issues. She's extremely affectionate and just wants to be loved!!

I can't wait for my family to meet her, she's a wonderful dog and after we do some more training, she's going to be a great addition to our huge clan! It's a bummer she can't come to vacation, I know she'd have a fabulous time, but such is the way of the world. She was a birthday present, and one of the best I've ever had! (don't worry, she wasn't a surprise, I would never bring a pet into my household without lots of preparation before bringing her home).

Other than this, things are about the same. Work is work, kids are awesome and weird and I just last week signed another year lease where I'm living. I realized this is the longest I've stayed in one apartment in about 6 or 7 years. Roots? Not quite, but it's better than renting a truck. :)

The summer challenge

For our summer reading program, we have asked kids from grades K-5 to "tell the librarian a joke." Once they do this, they are one step closer to receiving one of the first prizes of their summer reading log. As I'm sure you can imagine, we have had quite a few that are...ahem...interesting.

Of course we've had the standards such as "what is black and white and red all over?" With answers such as a newspaper, a nun falling down a hill, a penguin after a fistfight, that sort of thing. We've also had the occasional long, drawn-out, made-up story that isn't actually a joke, but the kid thinks is absolutely hilarious.

Here are a few good examples:

What did one eye say to the other?
Between us, something smells.

If an American is an American in the living room, what are they in the bathroom?
European!

What's yellow, rubber, and holds up banks?
A robber duckie

And then there are the knock-knocks. I don't know at what age you develop humor, but clearly some of these kids have a ways to go:

Kid: Knock knock.
Librarian: Who's there?
Kid: Monkey.
Librarian: Monkey who?
Kid: [pause] Monkey banana.
Librarian: [vocally] Ha ha! [inside] ?

Kid: Knock knock.
Librarian: Who's there?
Kid: Elephant.
Librarian: Elephant who?
Kid: Elephant Australia.
Mother of kid: It's her own joke.
Librarian: Oh, I see. Well that's great!

I was lucky enough to hear this one myself:

Kid: Knock knock.
Me: Who's there?
Kid: Banana head.
Me: Banana head who?
Kid: Garbage.
Me: Ha ha! [on the inside: ...really?]

Of course we always give a big geniune laugh because often times these kids really think the jokes are absolutely hilarious. I remember it well from my own experience. My family might remember the joke I was so proud of as a kid. The one involving a bowl of oatmeal. Anyone with me?

Overheard at the library

Today I heard a kid yell this across the library:

"MOM! HOW DO I GET TO WWWWWW.COM???"

I swear to you he had that many w's.