Best of 2009

Best lessons I have learned:
**If you don't believe in yourself, how do you expect anyone to believe in you?
**Once you're in love, it's hard to not want to be with that person most of the time. And the person I found is no exception. Best man I've ever met who supports me, challenges me, and loves me every second of every day. And not so bad on the eyes either.
**Roller derby is awesome, but I'm a singer at heart.
**Knee injuries suck and continue to suck.
**When you have found something that makes you feel like a rockstar, pour your heart and soul into it, but don’t lose track of life in the meantime.
**People can be so cruel at times, but more often than not it has nothing to do with the person to whom they are inflicting their fury. It has more to do with their own situations. However, that doesn't really make it hurt less.
**I adore my animals, all five of them even though they are exhausting and so terribly irritating. But it makes it all worth it when we all cuddle up.
**There will never be enough time to read all the books I want to.
**While the delicate flower still exists, she is now sleeping under a couple layers of strength. She surfaces every once in a while but this year is proof for me that the old adage really is true: what doesn't break me down, makes me stronger.
**Big sisters make the best friends, confidantes, mentors and all around totally 100% awesome. Especially those with fantastic husbands who make the best brother-in-laws.
**It is scientifically proven that I have the best nieces in the universe. What proof do I have? Just the obvious!
**Having family nearby means everything to me.



Favorite books of 2009:


Not necessarily published this year, just some books I have read this year. It's really embarrassing how few books I've read this year. Of course, the series do count for between 8 and 10 books...but they're graphic novels so they're faster. I guess reading needs to be a priority for next year. Bolded titles are my all-time favorites.


Card, Orson Scott. Ender's games.

Collins, Suzanne. Catching fire.

Kirkman, Robert. The walking dead. (graphic novel series)

Raicht, Mike and Brian Smith. The stuff of legend. (graphic novel series)

Schmidt, Gary D. Trouble.

Shan, Darren. The dark calling. (Demonata series)

Smith, Jeff. Bone. (graphic novel series)

Vaughn, Brian K. Y: the last man. (graphic novel series)



What I am most looking forward to in 2010:


**Participating in the YALSA Popular Paperbacks for Young Adults Committee. (i.e. ALA AND Mid-winter conferences for 2 years!!)

**Fixing up the house (painting, furniture, etc.)

**The next/last installment of The hunger games trilogy.

**Running the Indy half-marathon with Nadin, Jim and Roger (and the process of getting there).

**Going to Florida with Jim and his family.

**Going to North Carolina with Jim and my family.

**Increasing teen programming at the library.

**Overall continuation of awesome.

Bear with me here...

Well, folks, this is hard. This is really, really hard. The process I am going through is like nothing I've ever done before and as I alluded to in my previous post, I am coming up against professional challenges I never even really knew existed. I am finding I am so passionate about advocating for teen services that it is both a blessing and a curse. I love to talk to people about it and I love planning for future programs and services. However, I can't help but be upset and discouraged at what the universe sometimes throws this way.

On top of trying to stay positive, I am now finding it hard to keep my thoughts and ideas organized. I want to think "big picture" but I have to also think logistical and reality. And on top of all that, I have a branch to run and maintain. My level of professional stress is higher than I can handle right now.

Don't get me wrong, it still goes to say that I love what I do and I have never cared more deeply about my career. But it doesn't make the day-to-day stuff any easier. Perspective is so important. Motivation and Positivity are both so crucial. How do I maintain a normal and possible pace?

Now onto a completely different topic, I am very excited to see all the best-of-the-year lists that are being published right now. I'm going to work on my own at some point, though it'll be quite short and won't be limited to those published this year. :)

So many new books to read! A few I've spotted on several lists are as follows (note they are mostly kids and teen titles):

**Bray, Libba. Going bovine.
**Choldenko, Gennifer. Al Capone shines my shoes. I read the first book of hers and LOVED it!
**Kelly, Jacqueline. The evolution of Calpurnia Tate.

I see lists everywhere but I especially love the list that School Library Journal publishes and of course YALSA's Best Books for Young Adults of 2009.

Feeling overwhelmed

It's hard not to feel overwhelmed right now. The full scope of this project hit me like a ton of bricks today and my reaction was nothing less than paralyzing fear. We are going up against years and years worth of barriers both in and out of the system.

This picture very accurately describes what I feel like. An angry little bird screaming "listen to meeeee!" (from Daily Squee).
My current mission is to try to stay focused and positive amidst strong resistance and negativity. This is NOT something I have any skill in whatsoever. I tend to suck up emotion like a sponge. I need to find my Pollyanna hat. A very good friend of mine said "you need to become Sassy the performer." She has seen me prepare and give programs and presentations for libraries before and the persona I become is quite different from my everyday Sassy. I think there's a lot to be said for her advice. If I can somehow divorce myself of my own usual reactions and just channel the performance side of myself, I might be able to get through it without becoming negative and defensive.
Sometimes when I'm as stressed as I feel right now, I go to one of my favorite sites and believe it or not, it helps. There's not much more therapeutic than cute animals and funny quips.

A meeting

I decided to request a meeting with the head of the library system to discuss my project of advocating for support for teen services. I know that not only would she be able and more than willing to offer good advice, she would also be able to shed a little light on what obstacles I may encounter on this journey. I haven't the slightest clue of what the Library Board is up against and it will be very helpful to gain her insight on this process.

It's not until January but I'm already looking forward to it!

A long road ahead

I have now heard from 5 separate libraries about how their teen services departments are organized, how much programming they offer and how much (or how little) support they have from their respective administrations.

I spoke on the phone with teen librarians from Washington and Ohio and emailed with librarians from all over. Such inspiring conversations! They are all in very different situations with their own challenges and achievments.

What this is making me realize is just how much work needs to be done. It is such an underserved population across the board but especially so in the system I am in. I look forward to sharing ideas with our administration. We have the capacity to have amazing, innovative programs for teens and I have no doubt we will get there eventually. It's just going to take some time and everyone's favorite: change.

One conversation I have on a frequent basis with other teen services librarians is the frustration we experience when advocating for more support. It can be such a simple change from a logistical standpoint, but such a seemingly insurmountable obstacle since the inherent problem is not logistics, it's overall attitude and resistance to serving teens. It's very challenging not to get overwhelmed, jaded and completely discouraged by some of the comments people make about something we are so passionate about.

But if nothing else, we've got drive to make up for all of that. We won't be shutting up anytime soon.