And then it was August

It's been a long LONG time since I posted on this here blog. My life has been consumed by craziness and chaos. Most of which I have loved, but I have sacrificed a lot in the meantime (including my regular blog updates). So what have you been doing with all your time, Sassy? Well, essentially, here's the breakdown:

I work. It seems like I work a LOT, but it really is just 40 hours a week.
I roller derby. Yes, it's a verb. Cause I say so. The majority of my extracurricular time is spend on 4, no 8 wheels. And I love it. It's hard as hell but so satisfying.
I still have friends and family. Yup, it's true. I try to see them as much as I can.
It's amazing I haven't forgotten how to read with how little time I seem to have to put my nose in a book.
Anyway, that's that. Overall it is all good. What is consuming the majority of my mind right now is overcoming fear for roller derby. I'm at a point where I'm comfortable enough on skates that I can start really working on hitting, blocking and picking up some serious speed, but I have so much fear involved that I need to overcome. It is a half-in-half mixture of a fear of injury and a fear of failure. I will address each:

Fear of injury

Pretty self-explanatory. Specifically, injuries involving my teeth. It's very irrational because I wear all the regulation pads AND of course a mouth guard anytime I'm on the track. If I were to fall nothing will happen to my face, it will be legs, arms, tailbone, etc. But for some reason I can't get those awful images out of my head.

Fear of failure

This is what makes me really worried at times. What if I can't actually do this sport? What if I am so terrible that I never make the roster? No, nothing terrible would happen. My life would not be over. But I have found a sport that I love so much and I want to excel in so bad, so what if I can't? There I said it. Sort of out loud. Kind of.

For me, so much of this experience is mental. I have to re-learn how I approach challenges. I have to train my muscles to do things they have never done before. I have to conquer fears I've had for so many years. It's not easy. In fact, it's hard. But I can say that I have come a LONG way from when I started. I could barely make it all the way around the track when I started. Now I feel comfortable with sprinting, swizzle skating (although I need to work on speed doing this) and falling. However, here are my personal goals:

180 stops (#1 goal)

Skating backwards

Plow stops

Hitting

Blocking

We start assessments for the WFTDA (Women's flat Track Derby Association) minimum skills this month. It will be fantastic for me to know what I need to work on. My #1 goal is to be considered for the roster for our October bouts. Keep your fingers crossed!